Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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