is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
