i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
