I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
