Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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