I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
