Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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