Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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