I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
