so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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