i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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