oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
