I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
