I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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