tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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