I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
