uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Naked. naked and bneed help.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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