Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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