Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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