Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Damn victory sex feels great
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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