i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
