Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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