They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize