...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
