dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
