I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
