is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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