Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
