She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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