my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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