Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
