did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
