apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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