Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
