Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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