The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
