my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize