Plan B is the new Plan A
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
