So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
worst night to have a conscience
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
