I wanna passion pit in your ass
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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