Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
