i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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