some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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