I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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