so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
