White coat. Heels.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
