I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
