So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
