It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
