When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
