My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
