Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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