Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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