mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
