I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
